helloitsbees:

toddchavezwatchescartoons:

andmaybegayer:

slowedclover4:

memewhore:

This will haunt my nightmares.

Squelch! Squelch is the technical shorthand for noise gating. Your antenna will constantly pick up ambient noise, which is useless and annoying to listen to all day while you wait for a call. Squelch tells the radio to mute the speakers if the overall power of the signal coming through is below a certain level. You twiddle your squelch until it just cuts out ambient noise, and when someone tries to talk to you the extra power from their signal will go above your squelch setting and it’ll unmute so you can hear whoever’s calling you.

You know what? Fuck you. *untwiddles your squelch*

​she twiddle my squelch till i end up abandoned and unidentified at a local museum

retreat-to-your-mood:

girlweepinginstairwell:

i saw these posts practically back-to-back today. what’s going on 📿

woman-respecter:

farmlesbians:

xenosaurus:

xenosaurus:

you know it’s time to go to bed when the existential crisis strolls in

if it’s the middle of the night and you suddenly hate yourself because you don’t read enough or your job sucks or you’re single or gender continues to happen or you gained weight or whatever is knocking on your… brain door? at ass o'clock at night, that is your brain saying it’s time to go the fuck to sleep, the crisis can come back during business hours

somecunttookmyurl:

there is a tendency with history, i think, because we’re so far removed from it, to kind of forget that all of the people were people

a child 10,000 years ago left a handprint on a wall. they were fingerpainting. a viking climbs up a rock just to carve the words “this is very high” 10ft off the ground. somebody centuries… milennia… ago burned their dinner so thoroughly that they buried the ruined pot in the backyard rather than attempt to clean it. shakespeare got drunk and wrote dick jokes. tutankhamun was a little boy who liked ducks more than anything. a roman carves his name into a monument in another country saying “i was here”. a prisoner, centuries ago, in the tower of london scratches lines into the wall as a tally marking the days. a medieval monk scrawls in the margins bemoaning the boredom of his work.

every human being across history has said “i was here. i lived. i loved. i made something. i laughed. i cried. please do not forget me”

hungwy:

being cosmically “insignificant” doesnt even matter like its not important……… like literally lets enjoy a strawberry

sklogw:

zuesue:

dankmemeuniversity:

oh my GOD

decreation:

“Naked hunger. Naked fear. When you look into a face and see the need, naked as peeled fruit. Naked prayer you don’t believe in, but pray anyway because you can’t help it, naked, stupid in your hope.”

— Like a Beggar, ‘Nakedness’ by Ellen Bass

gallusrostromegalus:

vampiricyoshi:

neilnevins:

neilnevins:

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

“For shame, doc! Dontcha know we got other folks waiting?”

(Thanos looks behind him and sees dozens of Bugs Bunnies dressed as angry yelling travelers with huge bags of luggage. Thanos rubs his neck guiltily and begins sliding off the gauntlet)

I felt compelled

I don’t think I’ve seen such a finely crafted Looney Toons joke in over two decades. Bravo.

hjarta:

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

queercafe:

thebibliophibian:

durzio:

what-even-is-thiss:

insomniac-arrest:

insomniac-arrest:

finding out that almost all other animals don’t have periods like we do and instead simply reabsorb the egg back into their uterine lining to reuse the nutrients is like finding out the rest of the class has been taking WILDLY easier tests than you for the whole semester

like, hey, cat why don’t you have to use your Cat Dollars to invest in tampons? And cat is just like: fuck that noise, my body is OPTIMAL for not being made of inconvenient nonsense, sucks to be you

wack.

humans: hey, bleeding every month is actually really cumbersome and I lose both valuable nutrients AND fluids I need for survival? What the fuck is up?

evolution: yes, alright, but have you considered this about it? *cartoon blow horn noise* 

Human bodies suck for many reasons including but not limited to:

• Periods
• Bad backs
• Permanent breasts that do not leave once baby is weaned
• Dangerously large, unprotected, and non retractable male reproductive systems
• Huge brain takes up way too much energy gotta eat more sleep less
• Baby brain bigger than hips guess birth is life threatening now
• Takes like 25 years for big brain to even finish maturing

•Teeth are critical to living, yet not designed to last more than a few years without constant intervention and upkeep, and don’t grow back if this is not accomplished. Also, losing your teeth means the bones in your ear will shift, and your hearing will worsen.

•Breathing, eating, communication all from the same pathway, major choking hazard. Give me a dolphin style breathing tube.

•Most pleasurable nerve endings on the body locating on the filthiest parts of you, guarenteed spread of bacteria.

•knees and shoulders have almost zero capability to heal correctly, once they break, they’re basically broken forever without massive outside influence.

truer words

Ok but our teeth ARE designed to last our whole lives without upkeep based on the diet we had for 90% of our existence. It’s only with increased sugar consumption that we’ve started having teeth problems! Early humans had absolutely no issues with their teeth no matter how old they lived to be.

funkylilpunk:

sexhaver:

that Brian Eno quote about how whatever you find most repulsive about a medium (film grain, record scratches/fuzz, CDs skipping) will be the first thing you try and emulate once that medium is obsolete because it’s “the sign of a moment too powerful for the medium assigned to contain it”…. man…….

“Whatever you now find weird, ugly, uncomfortable and nasty about a new medium will surely become its signature. CD distortion, the jitteriness of digital video, the crap sound of 8-bit - all of these will be cherished and emulated as soon as they can be avoided. It’s the sound of failure: so much modern art is the sound of things going out of control, of a medium pushing to its limits and breaking apart. The distorted guitar sound is the sound of something too loud for the medium supposed to carry it. The blues singer with the cracked voice is the sound of an emotional cry too powerful for the throat that releases it. The excitement of grainy film, of bleached-out black and white, is the excitement of witnessing events too momentous for the medium assigned to record them.” -Brian Eno